What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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