Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down -1

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops