Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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YOLO

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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27

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops