A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops