Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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