What did the cookie monster eat? Food

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

what did the man say to the other man? hey

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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