- Anti Joke

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

i had sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops