What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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Guest what? Dog

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops