Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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