Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops