Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

Title IX

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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