What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

Justin Bieber.

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

Do you know the muffin man? No

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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