Ham sandwich

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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