Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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A jew enters a mall.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops