What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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