What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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