My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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they told me not to write here but i did

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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