What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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first

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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