What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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hi charles lattuca III

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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