What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops