How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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