Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

National security?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops