Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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