(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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YOLO

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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