How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Obama

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Nickelback.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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the economy.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops