hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Poop

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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