What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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