A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

What is funnier then 25 9/11

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

Black people in Camden NJ.

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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