Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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