Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Women can vote? wtf

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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