How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Knock knock come in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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