Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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poop nuff said

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Buzi vagy!

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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