What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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