the power to turn magnetism into light

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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