How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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