Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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Women's Soccer.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops