Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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