Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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