What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

I had friends on the Death Star.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

What's the difference between a duck?

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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