Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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Robert Mugabe.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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