Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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