Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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ask me if im a door yes

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The government

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Sir, your wife is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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