I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Racial equality.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops