How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

Mooses

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

This is a random Anti joke.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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