Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

poo

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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