An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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AND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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