An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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