Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Smeg...

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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A fat guy!

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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