How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops