Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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