You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops